The winner
Congratulations to our 2024 First-Half Scholarship winner, N’danet Balde! Please enjoy reading her winning essay below.
We had numerous entries, thank you to all!
Our scholarship essay prompt
Share a time when you took a misstep financially. How did you navigate getting back on your feet?
N’danet’s response
“I promise I won’t take an Uber” was the same lie I uttered to my mom time and time again before I left the house. We’d end up arguing with her, telling me that I was wasting my money because we lived in a big city and there was no point in paying for an Uber every single trip. For her, it was just a waste of money, but for me, it was a solution to a big problem.
I struggled with severe social anxiety pretty much my entire life. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem trotting along the secluded woodlands in my area and navigating through different shortcuts. Now, if we’re talking about the bustling streets of Union Station in downtown Toronto during rush hours when there are rowdy teenagers roaming the streets, there’s no way I would be taking a bus. Social anxiety can be a crippling nightmare for anyone who suffers from it, impacting not only their social interactions but also their financial goals. I struggled with severe social anxiety for as long as I can remember, finding solace in the convenience of Uber rides while avoiding public transportation. Consequently, I began recognizing its effects and the toll that it took on my finances and decided to take it upon myself to confront my fears of taking the public bus, thus starting my journey.
First and foremost, allow me to provide an overview of this debilitating disorder; social anxiety is more than just being shy. It often manifests as extreme fear of other people’s judgment and scrutiny in social situations, such as eating or drinking in public, asking questions to store employees, answering questions in class, meeting new people, public speaking, and the list goes on. This makes the simple task of venturing outdoors for the average person absolutely daunting and affects all other aspects of someone’s life. For me it was like having a stage spotlight shine on me throughout the day, making me stick out like a sore thumb for people to point at me and laugh. That being said, the mere thought of taking public transportation would trigger intense anxiety. And so, once I got my first job and earned my own money, I found luxury in the backseat of strangers’ cars.
Nevertheless, It wasn’t until I had upcoming payments I couldn’t pay that I realized that I was barely getting by. I found myself stuck in rubble from being financially comfortable to having to ask my loved ones for money and applying for credits just to receive temporary funds. At the time, I lived in a group home and was given the arduous task of going out for 2 hours and filling out a tracking sheet to monitor my progress and emotional state whilst being out. Initially, the thought of leaving the home by myself was overwhelming but I committed to small manageable steps. I started by taking walks around my neighbourhood until I was comfortable crossing busy sidewalks. I slowly transitioned from taking the bus with a friend during non-rush hours to taking several means of transportation a day. The process sounds easier on paper when in reality, it took about a year and a half, with each successful trip quickly becoming a victory.
To conclude, the transition from Uber rides to public transportation alleviated my financial stress and encouraged me to pursue opportunities for financial growth. With newfound confidence and a healthier approach to managing social anxiety, I actively sought avenues to increase my financial knowledge, whether that be through freelancing opportunities, job programs or personal finance workshops. As I continue to confront my social anxiety and prioritize financial security, I can work towards increasing my savings, propelling me toward long-term Financial stability.
In the tumultuous journey of life, financial missteps often serve as turning points in life, forcing us to confront our troubles head-on. My own experience with the rideshare industry taught me a big lesson about resilience as well as self-discipline. Social anxiety is a persistent condition that won’t disappear overnight and I will have to overcome it for the rest of my life. Nonetheless, with self-discipline and determination, I can make it more manageable and reclaim control over my life.
